remembering him

It's been almost 5 years since my father died and still I could feel and remember how I felt when I knew that he passed away that day. I wasn’t expecting that he would leave us that early and we didn't even show him our dream house.

When he died, everything was of course unplanned. Everything was ours...I mean all the expenses. We weren’t aware about funeral insurance or what are the benefits to have insurance. We just find out that there are different kinds of funeral insurance or funeral insurance quote that we can choose about.

But we had nothing to do then because we had no idea about it. But at least directly after my father funeral, we tried to understand about insurances.

So when my first cousin died 3 years ago, he got helped from his insurance company. Actually he was too young and it was a nightmare for his family. But as I said after my father's funeral, he directly fixed his funeral insurance. It was seem that he knew already that he was dying.

Having insurance in life is very good and helpful especially in times that needed most. So that there someone can help you in everything you need.

the world dropped on me

Last night, I couldn't sleep direclty. I was just lying in bed beside my hubby until early morning and recalling my fast and I came to the day when my father died.

It was just a normal day for me. I woke up early and fixed myself and went to my office but I read already a text from my brother informing that they were on their way to hospital because my father couldn’t breath.

I was planning to call from my landline office directly I came to my office and I did it. I talked to my brother and he was saying that they would go home soon. And he even said that I better talk to my mother because mama would want us to go home soon as we could.

I keep on calling for few hours but the answer I got was only, we should go home the sooner the better until my brother told me that they're already at home. That time, I couldn't resist for more. I talked to mama and she told me that my father was "dead on arrival" in the hospital. And I felt that the whole world dropped on me.

I didn't care how many officemates I had that time. All I did was crying as loud as I could and ran to my sister's condo. There we were crying but we planned and decided what to do. The next morning we were on our way to province.

This was what I was thinking last night which made me cry. I always cry every night especially if I remember my father. And also, almost every night, I dreamed of him, alive and healthy...

Oh how I miss him... I don’t know why I’m like this....God help me to understand about everything...